It’s easy to post when the kinky things you do are rare. Oh, hey, THIS time it’s a huge deal.

Well, it’s hitting the lifestyle angle right now, and it’s hard to remember that these things that I do about as regularly as I go to the grocery store.

Lately, it’s been about like this:

1. Wake up, check email

2. Take a few fun calls on NiteFlirt. Take a few boring calls, hang up on them.

3. Make someone pee in their mouth for me on webcam. Laugh my ass off. Have breakfast.

4. Slut comes over and does some house cleaning for me. Make him strip at the door, he’s only wearing an panties and an apron because I don’t want to see his penis as he scrubs my kitchen floor.

5. Slut makes lunch, leaves. Other Dom (Barbarian) takes a few calls and puts them on speaker. We laugh. He goes out to have random sex with some hot chick, comes back with porno stories and pictures.

6. Do a little work.

7. Sub 2 comes home from work. She is gorgeous. She strips into her panties or naked and putters around the houses. I watch as a beautiful, mostly (or completely) nude woman does her thing.

8. Slave 1 comes home from work and makes me dinner.

9. Most nights- awesome kinky sex. Some nights- a mixup of people in the house (sometimes all four of us, sometimes just me and Slave 1) watch a movie and cuddle. Yes, I’m a badass mistress, but sometimes a night in and cuddling are just want I need.

10. Go out and have drinks downtown, dance, party, or go to a kink party (2-3 nights a week).

In general life is good, I’m having anywhere from 5 to 500 orgasms a day, and the things I used to blog about are now just standard. I mean, this would be really boring if I just wrote in it every day “Oh, Sub Girl just got home from work, her nipple piericings are healing great. She’s naked again. Super hot.” every day.

Fundamentally, I think, I’m just very satisfied right now. It’s hard to get out of bed and blog when you’re having so much fun IN bed you never want to leave.

Okay, there’s a lot of bad porn out there that says all kinds of things about group sex that just are not true. This is my experience, lord knows other people could have a very, very different one, but here goes:

Miss Lotus’ Guide To Real Group Sex:

1. There’s a 50% chance everyone will catch a disease. That disease will be a cold.

I have never been in a group situation where anyone caught a VD, or even got pregnant (although I know of one of each where that’s happened) because I never get in situations myself where there is not a ridiculous amount of latex involved. I tend to insist on gloves, much less condom usage, and everyone is very grown up and responsible about everything.

However, with that much closeness, heavy breathing, kissing, etc? Almost everyone manages to get a cold. Any group sex in the spring or fall doubles that chance to 100%. So, if you ARE in a super hot group sex environment, on the way home, make sure you stock up on orange juice, tea, and theraflu.

Before you engage in group sex, try to take a bunch of Vitamin C. It will not only help with the near-inevitable cold, but it will also help you recover from any bruising.

2. The women are much more likely to be 220 lb brunettes than 120 lb blonds. Even if you don’t like plump brunettes, they will somehow be more attractive than any of the people of YOUR type in the situation.

I am always surprised when I end up in a group sex situation and the only girl who looks like a porn star is getting a little attention, but the plump PTA mom is in the middle of five people. There’s a good reason for that.

I’m not saying this is true of all plump ladies or thin ladies, but from what I have seen, the women who get the most attention in group sex situations are the ones that radiate sex. With some of these women, even when they are very much not my type (I tend to like my women womanly-in their 30’s and with big hips and tits, instead of the ever-so-popular anorexic model type. If I want bony I go for boys who are on the track team.) they have this incredible aura of an incarnate sex goddess. On top of that, it’s obvious they’re having a great time.

They are also a hell of a lot more fun to fuck. In the orgies I have been involved with, it’s not the hot chicks that get all the action, it’s the ones that are happy and having fun. They aren’t always mutually exclusive, but they tend to be.

3. The guys that get the most action are not the ones who are the most hung. Ever.

Size is a man’s obsession. The guys that get the most action are the ones that have the best touch. They’re the ones that know where and how to fuck. They’re also the ones who are the most polite and smell the best. So, a pot bellied sys admin who genuinely likes women, has recently showered very throughly with Lush soaps (mmm, Lush) and is balding is more likely to get a lot of play than the well hung lazy stinky dude, who thinks his massive man-meat will get him where he wants to go. Maybe a bit, but frankly stinky is not good, and most hung guys tend to be REALLY lazy. Especially if the fat dude gives good head or can work magic with his fingers.

4. It sucks to be a lesbian at a group sex event where there are men.

If everyone there knows you identify as a lesbian (or if you’re like me- a lesbian who likes men and cocks enough that I will occasionally date a guy who’s emotionally female, and then lucks out and gets an intersexed partner who is LITERALLY a chick with a dick) then every guy will try to bang you for some strange point system that men have. They’re not content to watch, and if you’re fucking a bi chick, every dude there is going to try to put his cock in the part of her you’re not using.

This can be very awkward. Well behaved guys don’t tend to do this, but they are rare, and you’re much more likely to get the half panicked dude who is trying to put his cock EVERYWHERE OMG THERE IS A HOLE OVER THERE I HAVEN’T STUCK IT IN YET.

Those guys suck. They’re rarely invited back, and in the groups I know where they have group sex OFTEN, they’re usually simply not told when the parties are going to be.

Between being sick, overtime, and the daily grind of life, I hadn’t been able to hit Slave Bob as much as I wanted.

Last night, though, was a delicious exception. Bob had been his usual SAM self and finally, I took him over my knee, grabbed a paddle, and went to town pinking up his cute little tush for a good 20 minutes. Every so often I’d get tired of hitting so I’d reach down between his legs and play with his clit a little, which made him grind his cock into my leg. In five seconds or less, he’d have a lovely shudderly girl orgasm in my lap, which was a great excuse for more spanking. I swear that Bob has spoiled me for men, having someone with a penis and a clit at the same time is just SOOO much more fun!

I had him stand up and put his hands on a dresser as I attacked his ass with a paddle, turning it from the lovely pink it was to a nice even red. I told him there was only one thing he had to do to get the paddling to stop… it took him an awful long time to guess, but by the time he figured out that I wanted him to beg to go down on me, he was back in SAM mode.

In fact, he looked at me with those big, sexy eyes of his, all wide and high on the mix of pain and pleasure, and mid pant and writhe said…

“I put on my robe and wizard hat.”

Of course, being me, I beat him for this, while laughing. Finally, after much begging and trash talking, Slave Bob says “I’m sincere. I’m really sincere. I desperately (ow), deeply want to lick your pussy and make you come. OWWWWW. Really, I’m serious. There’s nothing more serious than a charging Rhinocerus. OWWWW.”

This is hilarious, of course, but not the kind of funny that tends to get me wet and eager to fuck someone’s face. So, I beat him more. I beat him until he was doing that animal whimpering thing, where he’s soooo eager for me to stop but starting to loose the ability to speak sentences. THAT was sexy.

He did get his wish that night.

It can be hard to find a good bed when you want something nice and mutli-purpose. I was looking for good bondage beds and such, and these are the ones I’ve found that I liked:

http://www.thebondagebed.com/store.html

http://www.thekinkybedcompany.co.uk/

http://www.stockroom.com/The-Dore-Alley-Bed-P1896.aspx

http://www.dungeondesignsinc.com/site/product_detail.asp?prod_ID=1

http://www.dungeon-steel.com/html/furniture.html

http://www.masterrsdungeons.com/products.php?cat=25

Not really a big whopping bed, but I like everything on this site: http://www.dungeonfurniture.com/frameset-about.htm

And then, of course, one of my dear friends who moved gave me a gorgeous, retro 8 ft round bed. It’s amazing and perfect, even though sheets are stupid expensive (but, on the plus side, silk sheets are only like, $20 more than cotton, so my silk fetish is going to get indulged). My bedroom now looks a bit like a New Orleans whorehouse- red, purple, gold and lavish. I love it.

Sorry about taking such a longer hiatus than I was planning on it. Moving was good, then I spent a lot of time with family, tried out a new job, my Real Job decided to eat my life for a few weeks, then Slave Bob gave everyone in the house but Barbarian bronchitis. Both subs were sick as hell, I got by the lightest. It sounded like a Catholic call and response over here- Cutie Pie D was in her room, and she’d start coughing, then Slave Bob and I would start coughing, and then it’d go back to her.

Slave Bob also got two promotions at work, and has been neglecting me a bit due to the fact that he’s working 14 hour days, but since it’s what I told him to do, I can’t complain toooo much. It just means that I have been spending a bit more time with some of my other local tasty treats.

We’re all better now, but reality sucked for two weeks there and there wasn’t anything FUN to blog about. Now, I am just going to fill in the good, kinky stuff here.

1. Slave Bob got a cupping kit, so Barbarian and I oiled the subs down in the living room and experimented on them. Fortunately, we got a lot of pictures. Unfortunately, they’re on Slave Bob’s computer, and due to his work schedule, they’re likely to stay there for a bit.

2. We went to a party while we were sick, and did one really fun scene involving me beating the crap out of Bob and having a sing-along of broadway show tunes. We ended up with 5 or 6 people singing along to “The Internet Is For Porn” and I was laughing so hard I could barely smack his adorable little ass. Afterwards we both sort of collapsed and went home early to sleep, we were both completely drained by it, but it was FUN. We got applause, I think we’re getting to be known as the people who sing in scene.

3. I am thinking of quitting the Real Job due to burn out (I deal with trama and assault victims, it can be difficult at times and you always have to watch for burn out).

There’s more, but I think I’ll just wander off. I should be blogging a lot more regularly from here on out.

To nobody’s great surprise, I’m a pervert. I like a lot of things that tend to run in the same general kink family as cuckolding, but the cuckold guys managed to turn me off so hard that I don’t think that my natural libido and curiosity will ever poke me back over to their corner of the playground.

I like fetishes. I really do. Every time I run across a new one, my first reaction is rarely disgust or arousal- it’s curiosity. I want to get inside of it and see how and why it works, what threads it connects to inside the fetishists head. This is one of the reasons why I kink so hard on hypnosis, by the way- I get to crawl around inside someone else’s head and play with all the strings and buttons, and put my own in there as well.

I started seriously taking a look at cuckolding, I put a couple of ads up in to cuckolding personal sites. The basic premise had the potential to be really hot, and a few of my other kinks seemed related- mind control, chastity, feminization, bondage, forced bisexuality, etc. At first glance cuckolding looks like a fantastic fit for me. I’m polyamorus and always have been, I prefer to have multiple relationships, so dating a guy who wasn’t completely squicked out by me having sex with other men but instead, enjoyed it, sounded nice, especially if the rest of the kinky stuff went right along with it.

I adore the relationship that Slave Bob and I have right now, where he does the cooking and cleaning and housewifely duties, and then he brings me roses on the way home from work (I have to post some pictures of these gorgeous long stem peach roses he got me) and then gives me oral sex until I say I’m done, and is content to make me come for two of three hours a night. I like being spoiled and pampered. I will probably take on lovers at some point, I would love to watch him suck cock for me, and if I’m going to fuck some other man I’d like him to be there to watch and run support, but he’s not my cuckold.

So how did I end up in a relationship that many cuckold fans swear they would cut off their right leg for? How did the fetish manage to drive away a woman who basically seems PERFECT for it? What’s going on here?

The reality and the emotional underpinnings of most of what really goes on with cuckolding and the male chastity/cuckolding fetishists was enough to actually sicken me. Cuckolding is rotten to it’s core.

Cuckolding fetishists do not want a relationship. They want a woman they can use. They want her to follow their little script to turn them on and they do not give a shit what she wants, at all. They consider themselves nice guys who worship women, when in reality they are manipulative little fetish monkeys who are just as emotionally abusive as any man who punches his wife in the face is physically abusive. That’s right, I’d say 80% of the cuckolds I have talked to are flat-out emotionally abusive of the women they are in relationships with, and their so passive aggressive about it, and so convinced that they’re “nice”, that they will never recognise what they are doing as abuse.

That does not mean it isn’t abuse any more than Ike Turner, who didn’t see what the big deal was because he only slapped Tina around when she wasn’t smiling enough. Abusers justify what they are doing and almost NEVER feel like they’re being abusers.

The real goal of most of these guys is NOT to have a hot, spicy marriage/ relationship. It’s to turn their wives into their own private porn stars. They can sit and watch. If they’re not sitting and watching, they’re imagining. They’re too nice to treat women who don’t mind being treated like objects (say, women you pay who are happy with that arrangement) as their human blow-up dolls for their fantasies, so instead they take the real woman they are with and degrade her until she becomes nothing more than a vehicle for his kink. They take a woman who signed up for a loving relationship and make her a thing for his own sexual gratification. Her needs, desires, and wants are ignored so that he can abdicate responsibility for her pleasure AND get himself 100% satisfied.

The kicker of it is, he calls this submission. Submission my ass! It’s emotional abuse, manipulation, and control that you try to say is fine by swearing up and down, while struggling with your boner, that it’s for her own good and everything you are doing is for her pleasure. THIS IS NOT FEM DOM. THIS IS MALE ABUSE MASQUERADING AS FEM DOM. THIS IS WRONG AND VILE.

I did not understand the emotional reaction most people had to the word perverted until I saw this. To me, taking female domination and turning it into male emotional abuse is the destruction of something truly beautiful.

Trying to manipulate me with paternalistic crap so that you can turn me into an object to jerk off about IS NOT OKAY. It’s not female domination. It’s not fun or happy for me. PS- even if your cocklet is locked up and you have not touched it in months, it can still be the center of your world and your relationship. Obsessing about not getting to touch is just as bad as obsessing about when you get to sneak off and spank it to internet porn.

Then you have a weird layer of racist crap that gets mixed in with a lot of this cuckolding stuff. What the hell is with the obsession with black men? Seriously. I have black lovers and friends, because they are interesting and sexy people, not because I’ve got some fucked up hang up over their skin color.

Between the emotionally abusive dicks, the weird racist crap, the wife-as-sex-object thing, and the complete lack of awareness of any of the genuinely creepy things these guys were doing, I got so turned off I never even want to think about it again.

I don’t know who I have or have not told, or even if I have blogged this before, but until about the 15th of next month I’m going to be scarce on the blog due to moving.

Today my vanilla friend Dr. A, Slave Bob, and I went kayaking on Town Lake. We did about five miles, which was a ton of fun. Dr. A is sore. Slave Bob was in enough pain (he has a back injury) that he was lying in bed, immobile, moaning for hours.

I love men in pain, and I love men in tears. For the record, that was not sexy at all. It hurt me to listen to him hurt and know there wasn’t much I could do about it.

Men hurting is only sexy when I do it to them. Other than when I am actively hurting him, Slave Bob isn’t allowed to be in pain. He keeps ignoring this rule, though. Dammnit!

Slave Lori also came by and we just chatted and packed for a while. It was a fun and nice evening. I enjoyed it immensely.

PS- if I start kayaking the way I was cycling last summer, my upper back and shoulders will look as good as my calves do now. I took a goofy little video of me walking in my favorite heels that I’m going to send out on NF (not worth a YouTube post, it really is just goofy fetish monkey wank material- me from the knees down walking) but in it my calves look KILLER. Turns out that bicycling the length of Ireland makes your legs look great. Who knew?

I’m starting to turn into Action Adventure Domme. I was never an outdoorsy kid but I’m learning, now, how to do it more.

Bleh. Need sleep. Will blog later.

Here’s a picture of my slave Lori’s ownership tattoo. In case it’s hard to read, it says “Property of the Goddesses” and one of the banners says Lotus, and the other banner says Olivia.

By the way, if you ever get a chance to tattoo on someone else’s ass that you are a Goddess? Do it. Seriously. It feels incredible.

This is an old thing, one of these days I should post the entire story.

Lori’s Tattoo

Sugasm #121

Satine Phoenix courtesy of Corset & Collar.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #122? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Why I like sex blogs
“A few have changed the way I think about certain issues.”

A Date With Murphy
“No. NO! This is not fucking happening.”

Lust and Sassiness
“Some of the flames that your feistiness stoke within me lack subtlety, lack grace, lack restraint.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The Writer Strike

Editor’s Choice
An After The Date Love Letter

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Caught (pt 1)
Hot Screeching Excerpt - The Red Light Horror
Nocturne
Oh…Face
Showtime
Soccer Moms Get Hot Too!
To sleep, perchance to dream
What are you waiting for?!

When the Moon turns Russian Red.
Where No One Can Hear You Scream…

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Catalina loves an HNT of Me (Photo by Altered Aperture)
Dahlia and Adriana Sage Bound
Don Quixote’s Package
Fetish Model Anastasia Pierce In A Latex Nurse Outfit. Yum!

The first porn film made by The Cam Lover
Half-Nekkid Thursday: What’s Cookin’ in the Kitchen
Half-Nekkid Urinater
Lela Star & Cali Logan
Meet my new friend, Satine Phoenix
Pornsaint Anna the Nerd

A Quick Simple Caning

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
G-Spot: Real or Myth?
LA KinkBall Fetish Weekend
Mz. Berlin Finishes Slave Training With Forced Orgasms, And A MMF Threesome
Of Gracie & Mia & “John & Mary”

Palm Harness

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
A Matter of Intent
“Are you ready to have your pussy rocked?”
Fuck this Consumerist Bullshit
Kangaroo Feminist
Swiss porn misses its peak
Top ten G-spot frisky fun facts

Sex Advice

Ask Miss Bliss-Why won’t she meet me for a date?
Ask The Jersey Girls
How to do it doggy…with style!

BDSM & Fetish
Admitted Cuckoldress
Bad connection
Public display…

Queening Stools : build or buy?
You get what you need